In therapy “holding space” is described as walking alongside someone without judging or trying to fix anything, just hearing and being fully present in the moment. It means to offer unconditional support and letting go of our judgment and control no matter the outcome.
I don’t want to brag or anything, but I know my way around a therapist’s office. I was the angsty teen told that her broken needed to be fixed. I reluctantly sat on many a therapist’s couch to hear all the ways I needed to change.
And here I am at 43 and again in therapy. Six months ago I decided the trauma was embedded into who I was. It felt like I woke up drowning every morning and was terrified to close my eyes at night. I was in fight-or-flight mode and it was exhausting. I drove thirty minutes to a smaller grocery store that was quieter and had less chance of running into anyone I knew or thought they knew our story. There was also a chance I would end up with fresh flowers in my basket since the cashier felt terrible for me, because I was always crying.
A friend reached out and mentioned a new therapeutic office specializing in trauma. I met with a therapist two weeks later.
We sat in a garden just outside of her office that first afternoon.
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